Welcome to the Rebellion
The tyranny of home cooking has gone on for too long. Mozz and the boys have had enough: they've packed their pots and put on their travelling aprons to spread the JUST EAT word!
Cooking is burnt fingers; cooking is complicated recipes you need a PhD in Advanced Foodolgy to understand; cooking is celeb chef endorsed gadgets you buy and never use; cooking is hours in the kitchen to end up with mush that looks nothing like the recipe photo (and probably tastes like the paper the recipe was printed on).
It's time to let the professionals do the work, order a takeaway and help fight back against dining disasters, shout it from the rooftops: DON'T COOK, JUST EAT!
1.Cooking is Cobblers.
We want people to burn their aprons and liberate themselves from the tyranny of cooking.
2.CHEFS IS BEST.
People must cease stealing our jobs. We are the professionals. We do the cooking.
3.EATING GOOD. COOKING BAD.
Eating is easy, unless you suffer from a goiter. Cooking is all choppy, choppy, messy, messy.
4.PLAY PING PONG WITH SAUCEPANS.
We want people to stop cooking and use their time more wisely.
5.BURN ALL COOK BOOKS.
This is our recipe for a better world.
6.COOKING IS VERY DANGEROUS.
People should avoid losing limbs or even death by staying out of the kitchen.
7.SILENCE ALL CELEBRITY CHEFS.
Take a cheese grater to their noses and stop them from spouting culinary views we find quite unnecessary.
8.WAR ON WASHING UP MANUFACTURERS.
We must rid the world of these evil people for inventing cooking purely to enrich themselves.
9.DON'T COOK, JUST EAT.
Sing it, Shout it, chant it, tattoo it onto your hairy chests, but don't stop until every cooker in the country is kicked into touch.